Heart

Missing someone is a funny thing. It can make you sad, lonely, empty all sorts of not so nice things, however it also make you feel aware. Aware of how much you truly enjoy that person, aware of the love you feel for them, the place in your life they hold. That lack of human connection can leave you feeling incomplete (don't worry I won't pull a Jerry McGuire I promise), and unimportant. There are two things that happen when you miss someone you can realize how much you truly love them, or you can realize that you are truly missing something in your life and that person was just being place holder. Both of these realizations can be scary and daunting, thus creating this closed door feeling over your heart so that you cannot feel pain. Well you also cannot truly feel joy. So taking that leap, making that jump is what I have decided to do, it's scary and it's thrilling all at once and it makes me miss him so

Snake

Have you ever held a boa constrictor? If you have then you would have noticed that as it rests on your arm it slowly winds its way around you. At first it's almost sweet the way in which it wants to just glom on to your arm, like it wants to become a part of you. It wants be in your every move it's sort of like that unconditional love feeling. That no matter what you do there it will be steady, complacent, satisfied just to be there. That is until the boa does, what does, slowly begins to squeeze, slowly begins to choke the, blood, the air, the soul out. At first it doesn't hurt, then it begins to become uncomfortable, and it doesn't seem to matter how many times you adjust or reconfigure, there he is attempting to squeeze you out and replace you with himself, making it your fault that you even enabled him to do that. And as you feel your heart begin to slowly break it finally hits you if you continue to play with a boa constrictor it will squeeze you out one ounce at a time.

Train wreck

He just laid there, not even realizing what was going on. Even if he did know he didn't even care. He was more absorbed in the television, the clock, his nails, anything but the feat that had been set before him. He had gotten in way over his head and now, now he didn't know what to do with it. He thought that this was the easy part, the part where it all just gelled together that somehow it would morph into an us life, where she would arrange everything so that it would work out perfectly. He'd taken the step he had jumped head first now why was she making everything so difficult. Why did she need him so badly, why did she have to hold his hand all the time? He had committed to her right, and wasn't that enough? He didn't even have anything left to give her, well nothing left that he was willing to give her at least. Now it was her turn to show him that this was where she wanted to be, she should feel confident in the way he was with her. Didn't she understand that he never acted like this before, that he had never spent this much time with someone, that he had never told someone this much. And yet it still did not satisfy her, he could never give her enough. He was tired of trying, he was exhausted by her incessant discussions and relationship teachings she could never just let things be. She could never just be happy and he was tired of trying to figure out where the magic switch was. Although she had been happy in the beginning when he was unsure, but something about her made him tell her everything in his heart, when he had trusted in her and the path laid before them. But now he was not so sure about that path, he was actually quite positive of where it was going and it was not where they had planned. She would end up like every other relationship casualty of his, alone and confused. He didn't mean to do it, he didn't mean to end up there everytime, but somehow he did somehow the bottom always fell out and without warning his patience snapped and he was trying to figure out how to get rid of the latest and greatest of his life. He felt sad for her as he laid there and listened to her silently cry, she knew where they were headed as well and it was as if they were watching a train wreck in that dark room. Watching it in slow motion, standing in the middle of the tracks unable to move, or change the events that were sure to occur.