All Talk

The darkness overcomes me intrudes and ignites me. Its depth brings new perception of rejection; it fills me with infinite nothingness and absorbs me wholly. The words have no meaning and the actions non-existent. The fortitude of emptiness multiplies with time as the mountain climbs ever higher. Never to be crossed, explored or noticed.

Daisey's

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
Round and Round we go, until there are no more petals to be picked and then it’s on to the next flower,
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
I don’t want to talk about the future, I don’t want to discuss where we are going or where we have been. I don’t want to pre-plan our wedding and decide where we are going to live. I’m tired of having these trite conversations where we say things neither of us knows if we mean. I don’t want to talk about our kids names and if our parents will get along. All I want to know is if
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
I want to be kissed in the rain, dance until 3am, laugh so hard I cry, and watch dumb movies. I want to go shopping when we have no money, get off the on ramp and go to Disneyland when we don’t have time. I want to be excited when I get a fake rose from the gas station, and I want to think cheese sandwiches are much more then they appear. But what I want most of all is to know does
He love me, does he love me not, does he love me, does he love me not.

Why I Have the Greatest Friends on the Planet

1. They love me relentlessly
2. They will always ditch their diets for tears and ice cream
3. They will never dump me, tell me I’m fat, or undeserving
4. In a dark alley they are always on my side
5. When I’m sad they take me to country concerts!
6. They always hold me up when I’m too drunk to walk
7. They would figure out how to move that mountain for me if I really needed them to
8. At my darkest moments they know how to make me laugh
9. They could make a cardboard box entertaining
10. I am never alone, they are always in my heart

logical

Perfect... Perfect match logically speaking, exactly right logically speaking, BULLSEYE logically speaking and on and on and on the logically smart choice list goes. I am always the smart choice. Not the one you feel, not the one you can't live without............. the smart choice. So why oh why everytime I call on You do You answer with a resounding "NO". If I am the smart choice, why do I get put into dumb situations? I try and listen to You I try to accomodate You and trust in You and yet everytime You answer it is with a "NO" and I am left feeling confused, humiliated, and insufficient. You are missing what my real question is, You are not listening to me.......... God damnit. I am trying to tell You, I don't want to be logical I want to be off the mark, mismatched, reckless, and completley off the list. I want to feel free of this perfection that You have blessed me with. This curse I can no longer carry my burden is too much and Your footprints are no where to be found. You inandate me, only to starve later and the samples are no longer sufficient. Hear me please, make me whole before I crumble into nothingness.

Question

I’m hanging on by a thread holding so tightly my palms are bleeding. If I let go will you catch me? You override my consciousness and plague my dreams, you’ve developed into this enormity that I can no longer see. The pressure and the questions weigh upon me and I can no longer hold it. If I drop it will you help me? Will you be there in the dark secrets of my soul? Will I show everything to you for you to only run away and hide? Will I simply be the latest conquest and discard? This road is so unsteady crossing it alone will never work. Can you help me, do you even know how or will your frustration become our dictator? This endless stream of uncertainty induces my lethargy slowing me down and making my hands weaker and weaker. Will you be there when I give up?