Why I Have the Greatest Friends on the Planet

1. They love me relentlessly
2. They will always ditch their diets for tears and ice cream
3. They will never dump me, tell me I’m fat, or undeserving
4. In a dark alley they are always on my side
5. When I’m sad they take me to country concerts!
6. They always hold me up when I’m too drunk to walk
7. They would figure out how to move that mountain for me if I really needed them to
8. At my darkest moments they know how to make me laugh
9. They could make a cardboard box entertaining
10. I am never alone, they are always in my heart